Depression, Anxiety & Panic & Suicide after a breakup
What you can do right now
This is your emergency stop if you are feeling any type of panic, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, or just not yourself. Below are suggestions for what you can do depending on your particular situation, and can help guide you in your time of need.
If at any point you or someone you know needs immediate help, contact your emergency services. (Australia, 000; NZ 111; UK 999; USA 911; Other countries)
New Zealand, 111
United Kingdom, 999
United States of America, 911
LIFELINE on 13 11 14 or www.lifeline.org.au
BEYOND BLUE 1300 224 636 or at www.beyondblue.org.au
SANE Helpline 1800 18SANE (7263) or at www.sane.org
KIDS HELPLINE on 1800 551 800 or at kidshelpline.com.au
MENSLINE AUSTRALIA on 1300 789 978
SUICIDE CALLBACK SERVICE on 1300 659 467
HEADSPACE on 1800 650 890
REACHOUT at au.reachout.com
CARE LEAVERS AUSTRALASIA NETWORK (CLAN) on 1800 008 774
DEPRESSION.ORG.NZ, free 24/7 helpline: 0800 111 757 or text 4202
YOUTHLINE, Free call 0800 376 633 , Free text 23
For more information on how to support others who might need help and what warning signs to look for, visit: Conversations Matter.
For all other countries, contact your emergency services or local police helpline.
Hi, and welcome to Honour Your Breakup. My name is Leah and I am the founder here at HYB, and in this video I want to make sure that you have all the help you need for whatever is going on in your life right now. Whether that means talking to someone who can help, understanding where you can go and what you can do, or even just taking a breather. If you are feeling like things are a bit too overwhelming, I’m going to help you decide what your next move is right now.
About what’s happening
Life in general can wreak havoc on our minds and emotions sometimes, even more so during a breakup. They can cause massive waves of grief, anger, fear and even physical pain born out of a sudden change to our lives, especially when we no longer have a loved one in our lives anymore. Not having complete control over what we want to feel and when can cause further negative impacts on our lives and our problems just get worse. When I went through my toughest breakup, I literally thought the only way to stop feeling the incredible pain and grief I was feeling was to not be here anymore; and I am telling you right now I am so relieved not to have acted on my impulses at the time. What I want you to know is that this pain will pass, and the feelings your brain is making you feel right now is just it’s way of trying to keep you safe believe it or not. It is reaching out in all different directions, and with all sorts of emotions to bring your new situation to your attention and to try and ‘fix’ things.
What you need right now
What you need right now, is to calm the impulses, and to make your next move in a smart and rational way that will not only help you feel better, but not make things a million times worse for your life. I promised that when I was brought back from the edge of my oblivion, I was going to be here for those who found themselves in their darkest place; and to let you know that you are not alone. We just need a bit of direction, and a bit of a hand sometimes to get us back on track.
First I am going to do a calming technique that is brilliant for when you are feeling completely overwhelmed. It will allow you to think clearer and make the best move for yourself without panicking. This will take a couple of minutes, so if you don’t need that right now, just jump ahead to the ‘What Next’ Chapter in the video.
ASAP Calming Technique
First of all, let’s start with a couple of deep breaths – this will help calm down any nerves, and neurochemicals going on in your head making you feel out of sorts, and get the oxygen to where it needs to be. So, here we go, do it with me.
Now, I want you to start activating your senses. This will help your brain jump into the present.
So what can you see – name it out loud.
Now what can you hear – name it out loud.
Now what can you smell – name it out loud.
Now what can you taste – name it out loud.
Now finally, what can you feel – name it out loud.
You may already begin to feel calm now, but if you need to, just hit pause and repeat it until you feel calmer. Then hit play again.
What next/Next Steps
Now that you’re feeling a bit more relaxed, let’s look at what to do next.
There are a range of options for you to take depending on how you are feeling right now, and I will go through each one here:
1. First, is the most important: Are you safe?
If you are in a dangerous situation that you can’t get out of, need medical assistance, or feel like you might do something to harm yourself then your first call is to your local emergency services.
Here in Australia that is 000, but I have also listed the numbers for a few other countries below. Don’t worry about whether your problem is ‘big’ enough, or ‘important’ enough to warrant help; you can have a chat to the operator about that. It is always better to be safe than sorry. If it is a case of safety within your relationship or home, there is also the option of domestic safety organisations like Women’s Refuge in New Zealand, or 1800 RESPECT in Australia.
2. Not in danger, but not great either:
If you don’t feel like you are in immediate danger but certainly don’t feel like your mental health is in a great place and need to talk to someone who can help, then there are other options for you. Organisations like Beyond Blue, Lifeline and Headspace have hotlines where you are able to have a judgement-free chat with someone who can point you in the right direction. They also have questionnaires to help you determine if what you are feeling indicates anything that might benefit from some extra help. I have used these services myself, and they really helped me understand what I was going through and how to help.
3. Just not ‘myself’ today:
Finally, there are those days and moments when we just don’t feel like ourselves; when we feel down or out of sorts. It is completely normal to feel that way; it’s only when this becomes the norm that we might need to seek out some help. Sometimes all it takes is a rest day, or just a chat to a friend, or family member. We are not designed to be happy and upbeat all day, every day, and when we go through a breakup we can often feel like this might never end.
It is important to remember to cut yourself some slack; you’re not always going to be upbeat and Beyonce-like all the time. Sometimes your brain and body just need some time to process what is going on around it, and recharge. It is not the end of the world, and it will pass. For everything else, it is better to be safe than sorry, and there is help out there for you.
In the table above you will find information on a range of services available to help you with your situation. We are not affiliated with any of these organisations; we just think they offer great services and might help with what you are going through.
All my love,
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