Stage #2: Open
This stage is the key to releasing the pain from your life, the ability to safely and effectively release the emotions and stimuli that cause it! Opening up your heart, and mind and learning to let go of tension within the body will all help in allowing you to heal, grow, and move forward…
About the ‘Open’ stage
If you are at this stage you are feeling secure in your environment, and ready to begin your healing process. You may not know exactly what ‘normal’ feels like anymore, but you do know you are looking for peace and happiness in your heart and mind once again, and want to have more control over the thoughts and feelings you experience. This is the stage where we take that on.
When we experience things in life, we have a huge number of receptors that take note of what is going on and relay that information to our brains. The energy that those experiences send out is also absorbed into us forming a physical memory within our cells and DNA.
When these experiences are good, we feel amazing, euphoric even and our body is awash with dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and other feel-good hormones and neurotransmitters.
However, when these experiences are bad, particularly in the context of a romantic relationship like a breakup, our brains go into survival mode – big time – and activate all parts of us to set about ‘fixing’ the situation…
We touch a hot stove; it burns; we recoil.
We see someone dodgy walking near us on the road; we cross over to the other side or make a fast exit to somewhere we feel safe.
We have an argument with a loved one; our bodies tense, our blood pumps harder and our pupils become laser-focused on the other person to bring all of our ability to the ‘fight’…
In the case of a breakup, this can be the culmination of weeks or months (or even years) of negative experiences like arguments, betrayal, loneliness, fear, and anger; not only do our fight or flight hormones go into overdrive and build up in our system but so do the memories of what we feel is happening because of someone we loved so deeply. All of this leads to a body and mind that is weathered and weary and fearful that it will all happen again if they let themselves become vulnerable again.
That is no life for anyone.
Your being should not be full of hurt and pain – there’s no room! You have far too much to get on with in creating and living the life you truly want, and having too much negative experience is no good for anyone. This is the time when releasing those memories from your mind, body, and soul is paramount; not only this but learning when and where to release it safely.
Where the ‘open’ stage is concerned, it will help you to truly let go of hurt, pain, and anger in a way that allows for true understanding and assistance. It will allow you to be vulnerable once again but only in a way that you are safe, and inspired to do so.
You will know you are ready to move on from this stage when you can recognise something needs addressing in your mind, you can recognise a safe environment to bring it forward, and allow yourself to address it with kindness, patience, and faith.
When you are able to bring forward these feelings safely, you will then be able to move on to further stages around understanding, and more importantly, controlling, the emotions and feelings you are experiencing – KEY tools you will need to create your dream life!
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